In this world, there is no free lunch, as the saying goes, eating people has a soft mouth and taking people with a short mouth. Don't take advantage of friends, especially friends of the opposite sex, or you will lose big because of small things, including each other's lovers.
Have you ever seriously thought that always inviting you to dinner and giving you gifts easily is also a way to test you and a process to shake your principles?
If this is always the case, the subsequent relationship will really become unclear. Even if the other party makes some excessive demands, you will be embarrassed to refuse directly because you have received benefits, which is often the beginning of the deterioration of relations.
At the same time, it will also lead to misunderstanding between each other. I don't know if you have a good impression on me by giving me something for no reason. What does it imply to me? You didn't refuse my kindness. Do you want to further develop the relationship? Then in the next process of getting along, the relationship will become ambiguous.
Don't be so sure about anything. Environment, circumstances, atmosphere and emotions will shake a person's principles and make it difficult for you to be yourself.
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2. Don't complain or give advice.
Friendship is not an intimate relationship. You can say anything, share any secrets, and have the deepest exposure and deep trust. Therefore, the relationship between friends should have a sense of boundaries, and everyone should be measured in doing things to ensure that they do not cross the line.
Especially emotional problems, every time you quarrel with your partner, you should talk to that opposite sex friend. After a long time, you will be lazy.
On the basis of inertia, I gradually developed a sense of dependence, and inadvertently began to deny my partner, feeling that this heterosexual friend in front of me knows you better, is more intimate and gentle.
As long as you encounter such a situation, the person you confide in will certainly comfort you and speak with your position and interests, but these words are what you want to hear in that mood, so this is a very dangerous signal.
It's not that I don't give advice, but that I know my opinion is not objective enough and I don't know the cause and effect of the matter. Even if you know the cause and effect of the matter, most of your suggestions will be biased towards the other person's personal position.
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3. Only when you have a scale in your heart can you avoid suspicion.
Besides business, try to avoid two people being alone, such as dragging each other shopping, watching movies and eating. We should also avoid all ambiguous behaviors, otherwise, after a long time, both people's emotions will undergo some subtle changes.
Ambiguous words, including words that care too much about each other; Ambiguous behavior includes some physical contact and some indirect contact.
For example, drinking water from each other's cups, grabbing food from each other's bowls when eating together, holding umbrellas around each other's shoulders in rainy days and so on.
The establishment of ambiguous relations is often established in the temptation of intimacy again and again. Sit down and have a good meal. I have to move my position to your side. When I see that you have not avoided it, I will take another step. When you were depressed, I tentatively held you in my arms, and then in the process of getting along with you, I became more and more courageous.
Especially at night, after dark, try to avoid being alone with each other, and don't ask each other for help if there is anything.
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4. Draw a clear line and be polite to others.
Always be clear about your position, don't let the other side misunderstand, and don't give the other side a chance. Express that we are ordinary friends, we should maintain normal friendship, and it is best to maintain a good interest relationship, such as what benefits I got from you, and give you the same thanks afterwards.
Things should be clearly divided, and one yard belongs to one yard. You can't rely on friendship to find friends to help you for free, and you can't specialize your relationship. Maybe only in this way can the relationship last.
Friends may last? Lovers may last for a long time? Neither. Only benefits can last. If you owe too much, it will be difficult for you to be yourself. For example, would you refuse to invite you to dinner or would you be embarrassed to refuse? You will feel very sorry.
Therefore, only on the basis of reciprocity can we be ourselves, without feeling guilty, and always follow the principle on the issue of principle.
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The more friends of the opposite sex, the more you should manage yourself, restrain yourself, and have the consciousness of not causing trouble to others. What can and cannot be done must be done at the same time, especially what should not be done.
All relationships, if they deteriorate, will deteriorate a little. In fact, people will be assimilated by relationships and environments, just as people will change.
In the process of getting along, ask yourself, "Is this appropriate?" If you still don't know, put yourself in the other's shoes. How would you feel if ta acted like this?
This is not only to consider your partner's feelings, but also to help you better maintain the purity of a good relationship. Only in this way can your relationship be simple.