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Among the patients I visited, Miao Xin was the only one who had one-on-one consultation with me. Miao Xin said that when someone was present, she would be too nervous to speak. I know the different characteristics of each patient, and my assistants and students have avoided it.
When I talked to Miao Xin alone, she thought clearly and expressed fluently. She introduced her family background, growth experience, experience and the confusion of studying abroad in detail.
Miao Xin's problems are mainly related to her mother. Miao Xin's mother is a simple and kind woman. She grew up smoothly. Even under the protection of Miao Xin's grandfather and grandmother, she has never experienced setbacks, and her marriage is very happy. Her husband loves her very much. She has always been like a flower living in a greenhouse.
Therefore, Miao Xin's mother always tends to tell Miao Xin when educating her children: People are kind, and even if others have a bad attitude towards you, they will have good intentions. This is actually a naive family education.
In clinical practice, we found that part of the reason for children's illness is parents' naive education-blindly teaching children that others are kind and the world is beautiful, and so are the parents of another face-to-face patient!
But as Miao Xin grew up, when she got in touch with the outside world, especially her classmates, she gradually found that the society was not as simple as her mother described. She once said in face-to-face consultation: My mother has been living in her own castle and knows nothing about the outside world. "
So Miao Xin's mother can't be an ideal mother role, and Miao M can't understand and guide her when she encounters problems.
Moreover, Miao Xin is more mature, younger and more mature than his peers, and he is a veritable "little adult". This makes it difficult for Miao Xin to really blend in with her classmates. Her peers can't understand her heart, and it's hard for her to find a true confidant and friend.
On the contrary, she often acts as the "secret sister" of others. When students are in trouble, she likes to chat with Miao Xin, who is actually working as a psychologist. However, Miao Xin, after all, has no professional psychological knowledge and psychological intervention skills, is young and lacks social experience. She doesn't know how the negative emotions brought by students may be integrated into Miao Xin's implicit memory over time, resulting in psychological trauma.
Miao Xin later experienced psychological barriers in interpersonal relationships, but she chose to avoid studying abroad. Although the emotional disorder was temporarily eliminated, she soon experienced a series of emotional out-of-control behaviors at school. Neither she nor her family dared to think about it.
In fact, this shows that her condition has reached a critical point and is likely to be diagnosed as bipolar by psychologists. During the face-to-face consultation, I reminded Miao Xin and her mother, and put forward feasible suggestions.
Miao Xin is very clever. I believe that after listening to my analysis and suggestions, plus the positive thinking and progress of her and her family, we are expected to achieve self-repair.
I hope that the example of Miao Xin can remind parents once again that the original intention of educating children to be kind is right, but it is too late. Blindly and tolerantly facing other people's attacks will only bury hidden dangers for children's physical and mental health.
Parents must have a comprehensive and in-depth understanding of society and realize that society has a good side, but it also has a dark side. When educating children, we must avoid naive education. I hope parents can study harder, improve themselves and play the role of ideal parents in their children's growth.
-He Rihui
(The following is: a day for huistudentLily)
Miao Xin 17 years old, tall, thin and fashionable. She and her mother are from Lanzhou.
The face-to-face information table shows that she has been diagnosed as bipolar disorder by the psychiatric department of a local tertiary hospital. "After prescribing the medicine, she felt sleepy and free after taking the medicine once, so she stopped taking the medicine and couldn't remember the name of the medicine."
Start face-to-face consultation. When her mother introduced the situation, Miao Xin chose to stay away for the time being.
After her daughter left, Miao Xin's mother said in a low voice, "Oh, Dr. He, I really don't understand what happened to our family."
Miao Xin's mother said that her daughter had lived with her mother since she was a child. Before she was 6 years old, her father worked in other places and was later transferred back to the local area. Family relationship is very good, often talking and laughing, communication is very smooth. "My daughter has something to say to me."
"She has been annoyed since the third grade of junior high school. When she is happy, she is willing to go out to play and eat with her classmates. When she is in a bad mood, she wants to stay at home alone. "
The picture comes from the internet.
"I think there are some problems with her interpersonal relationship. In junior high school, she was very close to a girl, and the other person was very good to her, but she was not good at all. She likes to compare her class with my daughter. Every time she gets good grades, she shows off in front of her daughter. The last two children broke out. My daughter is very sad. She hit the wall with her right hand. This may be a kind of trauma. "
"Our parents also took care of her in time and asked her if she was unhappy in this school. Do you want to transfer? She didn't want to. Asked what she was unhappy about, she said that she was embarrassed to be with her classmates and there was nothing to say. "
"At the beginning of last year, her mood gradually became unstable, and her views on certain things were strong and paranoid. In the mock exam, her mind went blank and she couldn't answer the questions at the meeting. She suggested that she wanted to go abroad, thinking that she was going abroad. Nobody cares about grades. "
"We took her to an international course to prepare for going abroad. At first she could accept it, but later she became anxious and cried for a few days. We took her to the doctor and diagnosed her as bipolar disorder. She also received psychological counseling. . However, the psychological counselor thinks that the child's problem is not big, and all he says is the trouble of interpersonal relationship.
"Later, I went to school abroad, and there was no problem for a year. The situation is quite stable. Until recently, she felt uneasy about a female classmate and her mood fluctuated greatly. The waiter accidentally lost the food and suddenly broke out, knocking over all the plates in the food window! Later, she kicked the female classmate to the ground! "
"Later, she called me and said that her mind was blank and she didn't know what she had done. She felt scared and sorry. We will let her come back early. "
"My father and I asked what was going on, and she said that she had a bad relationship with her classmates. There is a girl beside her, but she wants to compare her with her daughter. Be careful, my daughter is depressed again. The situation in junior high school is also very similar. "
"I just told her that if you don't think you can get along with that girl, then don't be friends, and then slowly find someone who can get along. She is also very reluctant to say that if she can't make friends with this girl, she may even have other friends. Alienated her. "
"In addition, she is very concerned about what her classmates say casually. Some students said she was black and unhappy. I said you were not black, and people said you could refute it. She just said I don't understand. She looks very depressed. "
Speaking of which, my mother is very helpless. She can't seem to understand why girls are so miserable because of these small interpersonal relationships.
"At an early age, she had high demands on her study and all aspects? Will it be like this? Is she particularly concerned about other people's opinions? " Chief, he asked.
"No, really not. Our family has always attached great importance to children's hearts. When she was in kindergarten, a teacher deliberately ignored her. The child doesn't remember now, but we will transfer as soon as we know. We will never allow children to get hurt. "
"We communicate on an equal footing at home, there is no violent education, and we are rarely scolded. When she was a child, she was introverted and didn't like talking to people she didn't know. I won't teach her, but slowly encourage and guide her. "
"Father and I didn't put forward any requirements for her study at all. Our family is in good condition. We don't need to rely on her high education or ability. As long as she can read another book, she will inherit the family business in the future. Maybe, we didn't exert pressure. "
"In fact, children are very good until the third grade, and they like reading books, especially detective books. She also likes teachers and classmates very much. Everyone says she is mature and smart. When her classmates are in trouble, she can still give advice to others. But she doesn't know how to solve this problem herself, all because of interpersonal relationship.
"Oh, well, director, I really don't know what the children will be like! I have read all your articles and reflected on myself, but I still don't understand. In our opinion, friends can get along, but there is nowhere to go. Why are you so entangled? The psychiatrist also taught her that she never wanted to go back when people said you could. Dad and I are really confused!
"So, did you educate her from an early age that other people's words and deeds are kind?" Boss, he keeps asking.
"This may be a little. When she was young, I always told her that others said bad things, just talking, and my heart was very good. "
Miao Xin's mother pondered for a while, as if considering whether to continue.
"Actually, I grew up in a greenhouse. As an only child, I inherited my father's family business. My parents spoil me. I am too old to cook. My husband and I are married and depend on me very much. "
Miao Xin's mother cocked her head and said, "I never seem to encounter any major twists and turns or sadness. Really, there seems to be nothing! My parents still help me with the housework. Sometimes I say I know nothing. But I think if I can't stand it, I will have a good time! "
"So, sometimes, my daughter is willing to tell me something, but she doesn't want to listen to my opinion. She said, mom, your suggestion is naive. Just like living in your own castle. " "Don't laugh or cry" but I think I met someone I don't like. Can I avoid it? Life can be simple!
Director He listened carefully. He said: "I haven't talked to my child yet, but now I think your smooth sailing experience and this kind of education may be one of the reasons for her problems." Although you have a good relationship with my daughter, you don't know how to guide her when she encounters some setbacks and shocks. "
"What is certain now is that your child is very sensitive to interpersonal relationships. Although she went abroad and changed her environment, interpersonal problems still plagued her. "
Miao Xin's mother nodded. "Well, she realized it herself. She also wants to face the relationship between her classmates calmly and concentrate on finishing her studies, but she can't control it. "
The picture comes from the internet.
"Finally, I want to ask. Listen to your description. Before the child went abroad, he didn't seem to find any signs of mania or hypomania. Why was the doctor diagnosed with bipolar disorder? " Chief, he asked.
"I just asked a series of questions and asked if I wanted to die. The child agreed. The doctor did not explain why he was diagnosed as bipolar. "
Miao Xin's mother looked at Director He with a little surprise, and then said, "At that time, we were very confused, but the doctor didn't say much, and we were afraid to ask. The doctor also prescribed medicine. We asked if we could continue to observe and then decide whether to take medicine. The doctor was a little unhappy, so we asked our parents to take care of him. Later, when the child felt that taking medicine was not good, he stopped taking medicine. "
After her mother's introduction, it should be time for Miao Xin to have in-depth communication with us, but the little girl said shyly, "There are too many of you. I feel so stressed that I can't express myself fluently. Can I talk to you? Does the director communicate alone? "
Director He immediately expressed his understanding and agreement, and invited him to an independent consulting room for one-on-one communication. Later, my mother explained that she would make such a request when she took her daughter to see Miao. Before other hospitals, "maybe she is more sensitive inside."
Director He talked with him for about 80 minutes respectively, and then returned to the facial consultation area together. We also invited our mother to come over and listened to Director He's advice.
"Let's discuss the diagnosis first. Judging from the current situation in Miao Xin, I don't think this is two stages. You made trouble in the dining room and knocked down your classmates. In fact, you are excited, not upset. In my opinion, your series of emotional and behavioral problems are typical, which are caused by superimposed psychological trauma. According to the multidisciplinary diagnosis and treatment model of our institution, it can be diagnosed as post-traumatic stress disorder. "
"These injuries are not the main blow, they are relatively small things, mainly setbacks in interpersonal communication. I experienced a depressive episode in the third grade, but you quickly got rid of this environment and got relief. However, the fundamental problem has not been solved, so similar problems have appeared abroad. "
My mother seems a little confused. How do these little interpersonal trauma make her daughter suffer from mental illness?
Director He made a very detailed analysis from her growing process and her parents, with special emphasis on two factors.
"First of all, mom and dad, you didn't make any major mistakes in the education process. Generally speaking, you are tolerant and full of love. However, your education is really immature. Mom, you are a flower in the greenhouse. You are lucky that you haven't experienced it so far. Helpless, so in your eyes, life is simple.
I am a family education teacher, a senior obstetrician and a multi-platform parenting author. Follow me to bring you practical knowledge of motherhood and parenting. If you have any confusion or questions, please feel free to send me a private message, and I will reply in time. I hope some of my suggestions will make you as a parent suddenly enlightened and stop taking the road of parenting alone.