Hymen is a thin layer of mucosa covering the vaginal opening with a hole in the middle. The shape, size, thickness and elasticity of the hole vary from person to person, and the edge of the hole is serrated. During the first sexual intercourse, there will be some pain and discomfort when the hymen ruptures, but it is very slight. Even if some women's hymen is tough, it will not be unbearable. Therefore, the bride should have a correct understanding of the pain caused by the rupture of hymen and try to relax when sharing the same room for the first time.
Hymen can be broken due to strenuous exercise or other accidents (such as careless wrestling). Some women's hymen is elastic, and it may not break during sexual intercourse until the first delivery. Therefore, it is not surprising that the first sharing does not "see the red". However, due to the shackles of traditional concepts, although many women are virgins, they are worried about "not being red" at their first night, and it is not easy to explain to their husbands, which causes mental tension and affects the harmony of sexual life.
Strictly speaking, men value "seeing red" more than women. If they don't see red for the first time, they think their wives are unfaithful. In fact, not all virgins will "see red" when they have sex for the first time, because some people's hymen has already broken before the first time, due to strenuous exercise or unexpected circumstances, and some people's hymen may not break until delivery. It is not correct to judge a wife's chastity and infidelity only by whether she sees red or not.
Many unhappy marriages are caused by the fact that new wives are not virgins. This traditional concept of chastity hurts many women and many families because wives are not virgins. The husband thinks that he is wearing a "green hat" and that his wife is "dirty", so he discriminates against and even abuses his wife, resulting in no happiness in family life; And the wife also thinks that she is sorry for her husband, always submit to humiliation and feel inferior, and finally ruined her life's happiness. In fact, many women who lost their virginity before marriage are not entirely their own fault, some are raped, and some may lose their virginity because they can't resist the "attack" of their ex-lovers. Whatever the reason, we believe that before marriage, the woman should explain clearly to her boyfriend and strive for his understanding; As husbands, we should not stick to tradition too much, but should establish a new concept of chastity. The connotation of the new concept of chastity is that husband and wife attach importance to feelings and can be faithful to each other after marriage.
On this issue, we believe that both men and women should understand each other, attach importance to love, marriage and family happiness, bravely overcome traditional feudal ideas and create happy small families.
2. sexual satisfaction. Satisfied sexual life not only requires married couples to master the necessary knowledge of sexual physiology, but more importantly, both husband and wife should respect each other, treat each other as equals, understand each other and cooperate with each other. For example. On the wedding night, the husband may not finish it because of fatigue for days and nervousness during the first sexual life. The whole process of sexual intercourse is normal. The wife didn't pay attention and suddenly said, "Why are you so absent?" This sentence can form a great psychological pressure on the husband, and it is easy to cause the psychological sexual dysfunction of the husband. Although some later completed the whole process of sexual intercourse and reached orgasm, they always felt that their sexual intercourse ability was not strong and it was difficult to achieve sexual satisfaction. In the same situation, if the wife says intimately, "honey, don't worry, you are too tired, just take a rest." In this way, although the wedding night did not reach a climax, psychological communication, hugs, kisses, and the mutual contact between the whole body skin and genitals can make both parties get sexual satisfaction and promote the feelings of husband and wife. Lay a good foundation for future sexual harmony.
For example, in the marriage stage, if the husband ignores his wife's pain within a few days of her hymen rupture. I tried to satisfy my sexual desire, but my wife didn't get it. On the contrary, this kind of forced sexual intercourse may break the wife's love dream, and it is difficult to make her sex life harmonious in the future. Similarly, if the husband turns sexual desire into tenderness, warmly hugs and caresses his wife and says some sweet words, both sides can enjoy it spiritually. Although I have never had sex, I have also obtained sexual satisfaction.
The sex life in the honeymoon stage is actually a process of further understanding each other's sexual reaction, good sex and sexual habits. On the basis of mutual understanding and respect, give each other what they want, make each other feel happy and happy, and thus develop their own sexual habits. Even without "more movements" and "complicated skills" in such a sexual life, it is easy for both husband and wife to reach orgasm and get sexual satisfaction.
3. The problem of sexual skills was wrongly considered in the past. It is vulgar to talk about sexual intercourse posture and posture, especially the newly married wife is surprised or even angry at her husband's request to change sexual intercourse posture, on the grounds that changing posture is an obscene action, or because her husband has rich sexual experience, she suspects that he had an affair with others before marriage. In fact, this concept is very wrong, which is not conducive to the sexual harmony of newlyweds. Generally speaking, changing posture can prolong sexual intercourse time, increase sexual pleasure and make both husband and wife get greater sexual satisfaction.
Newlyweds should also pay attention to their posture. Improper posture can lead to vaginal injury. It can be seen that posture and skills are also scientific.
Jealous newlyweds usually don't like to be disturbed by others during their honeymoon. It is better for them to exist in the world, and it is not enough to be very much in love all day. This is human nature, but also a prominent manifestation of normal marriage psychology, which is the so-called sexual xenophobia. This kind of xenophobia has always existed from love, marriage to the whole small family life, especially in the honeymoon stage. Some newlyweds are particularly exclusive. Their love for their lovers has reached the point of madness, and even a few words between lovers and the opposite sex will arouse suspicion. This is the exclusive psychology of love-the abnormal development of jealousy.
Jealousy will lead to abnormal possessiveness and dominance of the lover, which will easily destroy the sweet atmosphere of the wedding and lead to disharmony between husband and wife. According to some sexologists. Jealousy is one of the main causes of contradiction and disharmony.
The most effective way to overcome jealousy is to establish a correct view of love and consciously guide xenophobia to develop in the right direction. The so-called correct concept of love, in short, is the friendship, understanding, respect and support between husband and wife, of course, including sex and sexual desire on this basis. Sincere friendship, psychological tacit understanding, complementary personality, and the sexual intention of husband and wife are consistent with their own wishes and pursuits, which can eliminate unhealthy xenophobia to some extent.
The correct cultivation of rejection psychology can keep the husband and wife faithful and consciously restrain themselves with the moral concepts they should have in the relationship.
5. The problem of masturbation after marriage According to foreign statistics, the proportion of unmarried young men masturbating exceeds 90%, and the proportion of unmarried young women masturbating exceeds 70%. Masturbation is a natural venting behavior of men and women in physiology, which can relieve sexual excitement and tension. As long as you don't indulge in it, it is absolutely harmless to your body. In this regard, most people have reached a * * * understanding. However, most people still have not formed a correct concept about masturbation after marriage. A considerable number of wives or husbands are very disgusted with their spouses' masturbation, thinking it is an "indecent act", and some have seriously affected their feelings. Actually, masturbation after marriage is normal. Masturbation is still a means to relieve sexual excitement and tension when one spouse has sexual requirements and the other spouse does not, or the other spouse cannot meet the requirements of the former due to physical reasons. In a sense, it has a similar effect with sexual intercourse between husband and wife. When a husband or wife masturbates, it often makes the spouse feel that his self-esteem is damaged, because the masturbator seems to completely ignore his own existence and may be thinking about a third person. In this regard, both husband and wife should correctly understand. Often carry out psychological communication, try to achieve psychological balance when the spouse masturbates, and get rid of the negative influence of some unhealthy psychological factors.
6. Sexual fantasy problem Sexual fantasy refers to the fantasy of sexual organs, sexual intercourse and sexual life. It can be a complete dream or a flash in my mind. There are direct causes of sexual fantasies, such as a pornographic photo, a sexy opposite sex, a dirty word, a flirting gesture and so on. Others appear inexplicably, and there is no direct reason. There is a view that sexual fantasy helps to improve the pleasure of sexual intercourse and increase sexual pleasure; Another view is that sexual fantasies easily lead to masturbation, which is not conducive to the formation of normal sexual habits. And if you indulge in it too much, you will easily become a psychosexuality patient, which will affect your physical and mental health.
Whether before or after marriage, men or women have had sexual fantasies. Sexual fantasy is also one of the incentives to stimulate lust. Some people are ashamed of their sexual fantasies, think that they are sorry for their beloved husbands or wives, and even have a serious sense of psychological guilt over time. In fact, sexual fantasies, with or without direct inducement, are caused by the subconscious of mature men and women, which comes from the needs of human nature (that is, sexual needs). Almost all people have had sexual fantasies before and during sex. Most people's sexual fantasies are abstract figures (or sexy opposite sex "parts") or distant figures (such as idol stars), which does not mean that he or she has "idols" in his or her heart. As long as we correctly understand this problem, we can reduce the ideological pressure of those who have sexual fantasies and strengthen the sexual harmony between husband and wife. But at the same time, we also advocate restraining sexual fantasies as much as possible and paying full attention to our lover every time we have sex.