Now tell me about myself. My husband and I are in free love. Before giving birth to the first child, there was no contradiction with her husband and in-laws. After pregnancy, the figure was out of shape, and the weight soared from 98 kg before pregnancy to 158 kg in the third trimester. From the beginning of pregnancy, I also started all kinds of worries and depression. I had a urine test and a blood test first and found myself pregnant. It's not time to do B-ultrasound, and I'm worried about whether I'm ectopic pregnancy all day, and I'm too scared to sleep at night. I feel the temperature rising and my blood boiling. My husband slept soundly. I finally slept for a while and found that he pressed his foot on my abdomen. So I'm angry with him all day. So that after doing B-ultrasound, it was confirmed to be intrauterine pregnancy. I'm afraid he will be stillborn and crushed to death by his father's leg. Because the B-ultrasound list said that I saw yolk sac and pregnancy sac, and there was no fetus. Finally, two weeks later, I finally saw the fetus with B-ultrasound, and the B-ultrasound list said that the heartbeat was weak. I'm afraid his heart will faint and stop beating. My father-in-law always smokes at home. I can't smell the smoke. I don't know if the fetus who smokes second-hand smoke will be deformed. So I faced my father-in-law with a bad face. My husband said I was showing off my face to everyone. He also said that his mother was pregnant and his father didn't quit smoking. Why should I let his father quit smoking? Morning sickness and toothache accompany the whole first trimester. In the fourth month of pregnancy, one day at work, I suddenly had abdominal pain and backache. From noon to midnight, it turned out that I had urinary calculi and renal colic ... which was very difficult. My in-laws didn't come to see me or take care of me. My husband said that his parents advised me not to have this child, because the medicine used for stones made the fetus unhealthy. He also said that my physical fitness is poor. Pregnant toothache and calculus. However, the B-ultrasound doctor said that my uterus pressed against the kidney because of the increased pregnancy, which just pressed the stones in the kidney against the ureter and blocked it there. Because the uterus is enlarged. Only blocked the ureter, and it was a long time before she saw ureteral stones through B-ultrasound. Later, at my own insistence, I gave birth to a child. Because her mother-in-law said that she was locked up in her hometown in the countryside and raised a group of old hens at home. The first month after giving birth, I was hospitalized because of mastitis, so I basically spent the next month in the hospital. Because of high fever, people are very confused. I forgot how to calm myself down. I feel groggy all day, and my husband is on a business trip. My mother-in-law takes care of the children at home because my father-in-law can't even hold the children. So he took care of me in the hospital. Embarrassed and collapsed. I often cry. When I am sober, I will complain to my husband. He was bored by listening too much. As a result, I hardly ate a chicken for a month. Because I dare not eat, I am afraid of raising milk. This is the process of my first birth.
I thought, after all, I had a baby and went to work in obstetrics and gynecology after maternity leave, so I should be able to cope with postpartum depression. So three years after giving birth to Dabao. I am pregnant with a second child. I didn't know my mother died suddenly when my second child was five months pregnant. My father doesn't consider my feelings. My mother found another aunt two months after her death. Force me to accept her. I quarreled with him about it at first, but he took it out on me everywhere. It's hard to talk. My brother just went to college and didn't know anything. I sometimes cry suddenly. What should I do when my husband comes? Let me explain first. Later, he said nothing but cry. And the month I gave birth to my second child, I put the child to sleep. Because I have an exam, I go to the hospital for surgical practice every day. After maternity leave, I have been working, and my father-in-law helped me with my two children. A few years ago, children were still young and loved to get sick. If I work the day shift, I will send Dabao to school every morning and then go to work. Pick him up after work, then take him to buy food, go home to cook, give them a bath ... busy late. My husband came back from other places, had lunch for a week and left. If there is a night shift. I often take care of my children during the day when I work at night, and I have to take care of my children during the day the next day. My little treasure loves crying very much. Without a good rest, I became grumpy. Bao Xiao was once ill and hospitalized. Because there is a generation gap with my father-in-law, I feel depressed, quarrel with my father-in-law, and quarrel with my husband. Until I was so tired that I felt uncomfortable ... it was really a hard memory. I stood on the roof twice and tried to jump. But if the child is innocent, my brother will suffer. At that time, there were really only children and younger brothers in my heart, and they all needed my care and protection. For my husband, there is only hatred. I also asked him for a divorce, and he refused. In the darkest days of my life, no one helped me. No one has ever given a comforting hug. I wonder what marriage has brought me. Because of pregnancy, I often look at my deformed figure. But now that I think about it, I used to be really depressed. Although I was a nurse, I couldn't deny that I was depressed myself.
Postpartum depression is really terrible. It is the killer of women's mental health. Can kill people. Can destroy a family. I think everyone has heard the news that a mother with severe postpartum depression jumped off a building with her child. For example, a 37-year-old female doctor in Changsha, Hunan Province committed suicide with her five-month-old daughter. Qingdao also has a 35-year-old mother with a second child who committed suicide by jumping off a building. The baby is less than 3 months old.
1. Why do you have depression during pregnancy and postpartum? Let me sum up:
1. Physiological factors: great changes have taken place in estrogen and progesterone, thus causing emotional changes. During pregnancy, the uterus is enlarged and the fetus is enlarged. Physiological changes caused by sudden contraction of uterus and increase of abdominal pressure after delivery. Therefore, pregnant women will feel empty and lost. Early pregnancy, nausea, vomiting, acid reflux and other discomfort. Physical discomfort such as shortness of breath, backache and backache in the third trimester. Postpartum, abdominal pain, fever during lactation. And the panic of being a novice mother. ......
2. Self-psychological factors: Some pregnant women are out of shape or have long spots on their faces. Being ugly is hard to accept. So I lost confidence. Some pregnant women are worried about the panic of their husbands cheating. Some pregnant women have mild depression before pregnancy. Or women are introverted.
3. Social life factors: Because of pregnancy and childbirth, it is easy to lose the opportunity of promotion, and some even have to quit their jobs and lose the ability to make money because of pregnancy and childbirth. Family members, especially her husband, do not care about and understand the hardships of pregnant women, and do not understand that pregnant women actually need comfort and a hug. I don't like the complaints of pregnant women. From ancient times to the present, most conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law began in the second month, and some even started from pregnancy. Pregnant women are depressed, sometimes inexplicably angry and unwell. Family members don't understand or care. Sometimes, it is true that parents-in-law are not good to their daughter-in-law, they can't help their children when women are most vulnerable, and they even make things difficult and even beat and scold pregnant women on February 3. Sometimes it's because there is a generation gap between the two sides. There are also children who love to get sick when they are young and go to the hospital every three days. Moreover, before the child is 3 years old, many treasure mothers either have insomnia or stay up late to take care of the baby. If you want to bring a baby, you have no money to spend, and you are also rejected by your husband's family. These are the main causes of depression during pregnancy and childbirth, and women are miserable.
2. How to reduce depression during pregnancy and postpartum?
1. For the sake of society, please give more care to women. Don't oppress women at work. Don't fire women just because they have children. Please take care of women.
2. For the loved ones around you. Especially as a husband, please give more care, care and comfort to pregnant women. Even a hug from you can relieve her depression a little. It's hard to take care of the child and help her share some housework. Take care of the children with her. Please help her in-laws, too. You can pay or contribute. Maybe she is inexperienced in giving birth to a child for the first time. Maybe she doesn't have a job, so she is financially strapped. It was the hardest time for her because she was depressed after giving birth. Please forgive me. Please don't blame her. For pregnant women, learn to adjust their mentality. Try not to get excited. You can do what you like, watch comedies, listen to songs, watch the scenery outside and so on. , to divert your attention. Don't always think that others are not good to you, but try to remember that your family is good to you. You must firmly believe that the depressed days will pass. Don't do anything stupid and leave this world with your children. Then I'm sorry for the parents who gave birth to themselves, and I'm sorry for the children. Every family has a difficult experience, so we should learn to be strong and be a good mother. If no one loves himself, then love yourself. Don't make yourself sad, live in a depressed world. Even with children at home, you can learn and improve yourself by reading. After children go to kindergarten, they are still not divorced from society. You can still work. Everyone should believe that those painful days will always pass and happiness will always come.
3. How do I deal with my postpartum depression?
1. I asked my husband for help and told him that I was depressed after childbirth. However, this method is ineffective. He sent me a message, to get out of postpartum depression, on my own, I don't want to get out, others can't help her.
2. Always keep a firm belief, just survive for three years and give yourself a little hope. This method works. After Bao Xiao was three years old, he went to kindergarten and I relaxed a lot. I can finally sleep at night.
3. divert your attention and do what you like. I like growing vegetables. I grow my favorite vegetables on the balcony. Like listening to music, you can relax. Cultivate your reading ability and read books when you have time. There is hope that this method will take effect.
Take a deep breath often, and my mind gradually calms down. Take a step back and learn to let go. Don't haggle over every ounce, don't worry about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and don't worry about whether your husband cares about himself. I care more about whether I can eat and drink well every day. Love yourself
5. Accompany children, take them to play together and experience the fun of life. Growing up with children. Learn to be a good mother.
6. Try to remember how good your family is to you. Understand that no one is perfect and take care of my emotions completely. For example, my father-in-law took care of me when I was sick. He stayed up late at night to help me wash my face with hot water. He gave up all his work to help me with my two children. Mother-in-law also buys clothes and food for children. Although my husband didn't care enough about me, after all, he didn't leave me in my depressed days all day. So, when my hormones slowly returned to normal. My heart gradually calmed down. Look at the lovely faces of the children. I also shed tears of happiness. Times have changed, and I still haven't forgotten my dead mother. I believe she doesn't want me to be unhappy all day. At the same time, I also understand my dad's difficulties and stop talking to him angrily. So, now I'm out of postpartum depression.
7. Pregnant women must regain their confidence. I believe that even if I am pregnant and have children, I can restore my beauty. Smile at life every day. It's really not easy to be pregnant. Not only do they feel unwell, but they also experience depression during pregnancy. If you survive, you may get happiness. If you don't succeed, you may leave this world with your children.
Please pay more attention to the physical and mental health of pregnant women and give her more tolerance and understanding. Let her get through the gloomy days of life smoothly. So as to give children a warm home and more harmony to society.