Generally speaking, obsession is used to describe people who are rigid in thinking, rigid in doing things and inflexible.
As the saying goes, "One road leads to darkness, but the other leads to the end." It describes people who are obsessed with dead ends.
When a person reaches the tip of the iceberg, his inner space will become smaller and smaller, and it will become more and more difficult for him to find a way out. In the end, his heart will be blocked and he will be particularly tired. Irritability, stubbornness, inflexibility and narrow-mindedness are all manifestations of obsession.
Octopus is not only scary in appearance, but also a terrible animal in marine life.
Their bodies are extremely soft, so soft that they can almost plug themselves into any gap, as if they have practiced the "shrinking bones" often mentioned in martial arts novels.
Octopus likes to eat fish and shrimp, often hiding in conch shells, waiting for prey to approach, then biting their heads unexpectedly, injecting venom to paralyze them to death, and finally eating them dry and wiping them clean.
However, it is precisely because octopus loves to eat all kinds of utensils and likes to hide in hollow utensils that human beings have come up with a clever plan to catch turtles in a jar.
Fishermen string many small bottles together with ropes and throw them to the bottom of the sea.
When the octopus saw the vial, it scrambled to get in. No matter how small and narrow the bottle is, it is conceivable that it has become a prisoner of the bottle and a delicious meal for mankind.
What imprisoned the octopus? Is it a bottle? That's just the appearance. Bottles can't even walk, let alone take the initiative to catch octopus. What really imprisons octopus is themselves. They go further and further towards the narrowest road, no matter how dark it is, even if it is a dead end.
Sometimes, we are like self-righteous octopus. When we are full of distress and melancholy, we just blindly drill into the bottle, thinking that we have found the goal and try our best to drill into it. As a result, my vision became narrower and narrower, and my thoughts lost their wisdom and luster. In real life, when unpleasant things happen, people tend to unconsciously enlarge the situation, and the whole person is shrouded in troubles, and bad emotions are shrouded in their hearts like shadows.
The characteristics of a bad mood are like a spiral. The more you think about it, the more angry you are, the more stubborn you are, the worse you feel about yourself, and the worse your mood will be. Your mind will become narrower and narrower, and your mind will become smaller and smaller. Just like an octopus in a bottle, you will eventually be imprisoned.
What can I do to keep myself open-minded and not stubborn? Is there any good way to help people in deep trouble?
The simplest and best way to get rid of troubles is to jump out of difficulties, put aside all things that you don't want to be unhappy, think about happy things and do things you like.
Zhou Zeng said:
An important aspect of life wisdom is to distinguish what you can control and what you can't. For those beyond your control, you can only let nature take its course.
For what you can control, you should work hard, and as for the result of your efforts, let nature take its course.
People are too smart, unhappy, sensitive and uncomfortable to live. Those who can work hard are complete, and those who can't work hard are futile.
As the saying goes, "The sun rises in the East China Sea and sets in the West Mountain, and one day you will be sad and happy." When something goes wrong, people are comfortable and their hearts are comfortable. "
For people who love to get into a dead end, a very important topic in life should be to learn how to deal with the aftermath and stop loss. Having done it, we must force ourselves to admit the fact that water under the bridge.
You know, a mature person won't shut himself up in a useless corner for a long time. They will dry their tears, clear their minds and go into battle happily.
When we jump out of a bad situation, we should learn another good way, that is, to look at what has happened that makes you unhappy from another angle. You will find that things are not as bad as you think, just like a blessing in disguise.
The so-called obsession is that when people encounter something, they always consider the problem from the existing experience because of the influence of fixed thinking.
All this is because we care too much, like to accept death when things happen, and don't know how to be flexible.
For a simple example, if you say that a person should have a basic conscience, he will raise his eyebrows and sob: "Mashan is being ridden and people are being bullied these days." How much is conscience worth? "
No matter what you say, he won't buy your account.
On the contrary, your persuasion, criticism and suggestions will be regarded by him as an injury to his self-esteem, so as to make verbal refutation or action confrontation. This kind of human love is stubborn, stubborn and has a strong rebellious mentality. It is easy for oneself to hurt others, and also let oneself fall into the abyss of despair and helplessness.
Therefore, the first thing we need to change is this single way of thinking, don't rush to make decisions, cultivate our ability to see problems from multiple angles, and broaden our horizons and minds.
When you find that your emotions are boiling, you can make some formulas and recite them repeatedly, such as "I can handle things peacefully" and "I am a wise person, so I should think positively." "He doesn't understand me. I can make him understand me in another way." Remind yourself to change your bad mood.
As the saying goes, those who have the heart are tired; It doesn't matter if you don't mean it.
People who love to get into a dead end are not very happy. When you have troubles, you think that the whole life is bad. If you make a mistake once, you predict that you will make a mistake every time. The longer you drill, the harder it gets, the harder it gets, and the less angry you live.
Think of Cui Yongyuan interviewing linguist Mr. Zhou Youguang and asking him the secret of longevity.
Mr. Wang said, "Look ahead and overcome it."
Cui Yongyuan joked, "What should I do if I can't think of it?"
Mr. Zhou replied, "You just want to drive around when you turn a corner!"
If you can't cross the dead end, turn around. If you can't cross the dead end, turn around.
In fact, 80% of the problems are mental problems. Only when the mind is solved, can people relax, put their hearts at ease, make life clear and feel comfortable, and can people really live easily.
The key to an elegant person is to control bad emotions. A person who can control bad emotions is more powerful than a person who can win a city.
David Beckham and Lei Dongduo are both football geniuses, but because of their different personalities, their development after retirement is different. Beckham is still active in the front line, and even Bessie and her family have received blessings from all over the world. Redong often has conflicts with people around him because he loves everything very seriously. In Argentina, he won the reputation of "an alternative genius in football". There are no reports and news after retirement.
Some experts have said that people who love to get into a dead end often have two emotions. One is that they feel inferior and think they can do nothing; One is groundless, very arrogant and willful.
The mouse got into the corner and couldn't get out, but still wanted to go in; The same is true of people who take detours.
Because the deeper you drill, the narrower the road and the narrower the heart, and finally you are trapped alive and suffocated.
Many times, when one thing is figured out, it is heaven, and when it is figured out, it is hell.
In real life, nine times out of ten people are unhappy, so when we are unhappy, we should learn to control our emotions, be an open-minded person, speak and do things without going to extremes, treat people and things peacefully, be broad-minded and never walk into a dead end.
When a person stops obsessing, his world will be vast, his heart will be boundless, his steps will be no longer heavy, and his dancing will be light and agile.