The first cry of life is without a trace of sadness, because the world from which life comes is not sad, and sadness is the product of our world.
-Zhou
? Niu Niu
The first cry of life is without a trace of sadness, because the world from which life comes is not sad, and sadness is the product of our world.
-Zhou
? Niu Niu is a reading note written by Zhou for her daughter with eye tumor. It records the story of an ordinary small family supporting each other, relying on each other, quarreling with each other and complaining about each other because of a sick child. Finally, because Niu Niu's life has come to an end, this once warm and enviable little family has gradually broken down and destroyed. 199 1 year, Niu Niu, who only lived for 18 months, lay in the cradle, because she left this unfortunate world forever.
The first time I saw Niu Niu, it was in early 2004, when I just joined the work, I happened to see this book and finished it with tears. I read the affection of a father and the helplessness of a father. I saw a happy family fall into poverty and sadness because of their children's illness. I also saw that the smart and lovely Niu Niu brought endless happiness to this family and left endless pain.
I shared it with my colleagues in the office in tears. There are several older sisters who are good wives and mothers. Their feelings are deeper than mine. Later, I don't know where my book went and never came back.
Over the years, Niu Niu has been in my mind, especially after becoming a wife and mother.
If you open it again today, you will still cry.
This is not a book, but a grave built by a father with emotional bricks! Zhou is a philosopher and a father. A father who loves children more than any philosophy, even as long as the children live, any philosophy will die.
This version in my hand is more detailed, concrete, insightful and profound than the first time I read it. Reading it again, I have not only characters but also plots in my eyes, and more rational thinking.
First of all, I understand that accidents make an inevitable life.
Fate began to covet Niu Niu before she was born, pushing her to the abyss step by step. First of all, Rain is falling all's cousin gave her the flu when she was five months pregnant. Then a girl named untimely Sichuan decided to smash the floor in anger with sensitive Yuer, and her fever got worse. Then I met an unreasonable female doctor in the emergency department, which delayed my treatment. The worst thing was the doctor of medicine, who took Rain is falling all to have an X-ray, and twice!
In this series of accidents, even if any link is broken, the final tragedy may be avoided. Unfortunately, life can't be rehearsed, and every step is live. It is this accidental connection that leads to the final tragic ending. This is the helplessness and sadness of birth.
Secondly, I am distressed by Niu Niu, who is in trouble, and I am even more distressed by my father who describes the details in words.
When Niu Niu was born, Zhou said, "You were born, and wonderful changes have taken place in the world. The world with you is a brand-new world, and I think I have been in a mystery. "
He added, "You are like a little flower in spring, blooming in my autumn. For this beautiful opening, you have been waiting for centuries in the mysterious grassland outside the world. "
He also said: "You have come, and we have a home for the first time."
I can imagine how pious and grateful he is and how fresh he is to welcome this new life.
He said, "You changed my view of the world."
From then on, he was happy with Niu Niu's happiness, sad with Niu Niu's sadness and painful with Niu Niu's pain. Even more happy than Niu Niu, more sad and more painful.
I can't imagine what kind of pain he wrote when he got along with Niu Niu for the last time. When Niu Niu cried "Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock", he was miserable as a father. When Niu Niu whispered to him, "Dad hurts, Niu Niu cries", how deeply grieved he was in the face of sensible children; In order to distract Niu Niu and relieve her pain, how did he spend the seconds like years when he put on his famous red dancing shoes and danced with Niu Niu from morning till night?
He said, "Who can tell me why the world is still there, and I am still there, but you are not?"
? He said, "You bloom with spring flowers and wither with autumn leaves. Your life is just a beautiful and tragic accident. "
? He condensed his entanglement, reflection, pain and sadness in Niu Niu's book-Niu Niu (a father's reading notes).
In fact, what impressed me most was that he thought about life with the thinking of a philosopher.
Excerpts are as follows:
"I look forward to having a daughter-because life is a gift from a woman and I want to give it back to her."
"To create life is to participate in mystery."
? "Birth is a poetic sun, under which all the sufferings in the world are stained with beautiful colors."
"I'm tired of being a tyrant's slave, but I'm conquered by your weakness."
"Parents love their children as part of themselves, but it is impossible to regard their parents as part of themselves."
"My happiness is actually a golden ball that stays at the top of the cliff and rolls down the abyss in the blink of an eye ..."
? "It's only a stone's throw from the cradle to the grave, and it's only a few days from heaven to hell."
"In real life, death and I compete for you and finally beat me. I was defeated, as if I had died once, but I lived deeply."
"I would rather be a mediocre father than an outstanding philosopher."
"When civilization encounters naked barbarism, language loses any function."
"Niu Niu has returned to the invisible world, but those mysterious staring eyes remain in the sky of my city forever, shining with sad and beautiful light."
"As long as a person truly realizes the despair in ordinary suffering, he will understand how grandiose all the words that beautify suffering are and how artificial all the gestures that show off suffering are."
"In this life, Niu Niu is always crying and Dad is always in pain."
"When a person falls, he gains a new vision."
"I regret not hugging you. Eternal hatred turns into eternal silence, which spans between me and the world. "
"Nothing in the world can cut off parents' concern for their children, not even death. "
"Pain can't be shared. In the final analysis, everyone can only bear their own share. "
After reading this book, I cherish the ordinary affection around me and the suffering in my life more.
As Zhou said, people can certainly ask others for help and comfort when they are in pain, but don't forget that there is only one thing that can really make you suffer, and that is your own tenacity. A person knows how to cherish his family affection and dare to bear his own suffering, which are two great achievements in life.