The old man froze. Why did he give me the bottle? I went to fetch water to drink. ...
It turned out to be a misunderstanding. The old man left. Sister came back to laugh at herself. She told me on the phone that I gave him the bottle and thought he would be very happy ... after a long time, he stopped collecting garbage, haha ...
Fortunately, this is just a misunderstanding, a joke that can be corrected in time.
In life, this misunderstanding will happen to each of us. When we treat others according to our own understanding, if we lack the necessary ability to "test reality", the result will be very different.
The most common is the attitude of parents towards their children. What parents think is right and good for children is that children should cooperate with their parents and accept their kindness. Otherwise, you are sorry for your parents or you are not a good boy. Parents don't realize that children are actually an independent life completely different from them. They have their own feelings, thoughts and ideas. Good parents must be parents who are good at and willing to listen to their children's ideas, and parents who are willing to communicate and negotiate with their children.
In marriage, we will also see that the wife often gives her husband such a "bottle", which is full of useless nagging, complaints and dissatisfaction, thinking that constantly giving it to her husband can change her attitude towards herself, but never asking him: Do you need such a bottle?
Looking back, look at the process of my sister giving someone a bottle, which is a process of reality test and correction:
"Here you are!"
"I don't want it!"
"Why?"
"Because I don't collect garbage!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, there was a mistake!"
This process involves subjective assumptions: you may collect garbage and I have an empty bottle for you. You should be glad I did this to you!
Reality check: Do you want it? Why? Aren't you a garbage collector? (sister)
..... No, I'm not a garbage collector, I'm looking for water to drink! (old man)
Correct in time: Oh, so you are not a garbage collector. There is a mistake. I'll throw away the bottle myself ...
The same process, if it happens in marriage, we often hear another result:
"Here you are" (nagging, unreasonable demands, control)
"I don't want it"
"Why?"
"I don't like it, I don't want it!"
"No, I just want to give! Who let you be my husband (wife)? !
"That's your business, I don't want it!"
"You are selfish, you are not responsible, you are not good to me ..."
(Anger, accusation, conflict, quarrel ...)
Suppose there is such a scene: my sister said to the old man: You don't accept my empty bottle, I am so kind to you, but you are so heartless and selfish ... You are like a garbage collector, how can you not pick it up? ! Are you lying to me? !
This makes people laugh, but in life, especially in many marriages, such absurd jokes are staged every day.