Experts say that the gentle trap of the family, especially the intergenerational pain, protects children too well, and prepares sweepers and paving stones for every step of their growth, depriving them of the opportunity to face difficulties, making them timid and naturally losing their sense of security.
Therefore, children should learn to do their own things, and adults should not do everything. For example, let children learn to eat by themselves, dress by themselves, pack things by themselves, and solve disputes with children by themselves. Work hard to succeed and build confidence. Only by letting children get successful psychological experiences many times can they cope with the test of failure.
Children's psychological nutrition is not satisfied. In daily life, children can't move freely, be independent and release their normal emotions. Usually in the process of children's growth, adults rarely consider their needs and wishes.
2. Children's psychological nutrition is not satisfied.
In daily life, children can't get freedom of action, independence and the release of normal emotions. Usually in the process of children's growth, adults rarely consider their needs and wishes. Children can only turn around the batons and barometer of adults, and places and things that children want to play are often strictly prohibited. When adults are happy, they pull the child up, and whether he likes it or not, they give him a kiss and hug. When you are unhappy, you dislike children, talk too much and don't want to talk to them. In the long run, it will damage children's motivation to explore new things, make them lose themselves, distrust adults and lose their sense of security.
Therefore, parents should respect their children, let go of their hands and feet, and don't interfere excessively to hinder their independent attempts. Follow the needs of children. If the child wants to do it by himself, give him space and let him do it by himself. The child did not take the initiative to ask his parents for help. No matter what the children do, as long as there is no danger, parents will not participate. But when the child says he needs help, parents should also respond immediately. When the child feels that he doesn't need it, he should stop and let him do it himself. In this way, children can establish a normal parent-child attachment relationship with their parents.
3. Mother doesn't have enough sense of security and her mood is changeable.
The mother is the closest contact of the child. If the mother is often afraid of this and that, it will directly affect the child's attitude towards things and life. Only when the mother's sense of security and value is sufficient, she will not often feel anxious. Self-confident, steady, mature and rational parenting attitude can not only reduce the unnecessary inner consumption of mothers, but also bring children a safe and peaceful state and temperament.
4. Family life is not harmonious, and parents often quarrel.
Experts pointed out that the harmonious relationship between family members is an important foundation for children's mental health. For children, parents are his whole world and a model of his life. If children often see contradictions between their parents, they will feel great anxiety and fear. Young hearts will cast shadows. In this sense, the best gift parents can give their children is a beautiful marriage, which will directly affect the establishment of children's sense of security, as well as socialization, interpersonal relationships and many other aspects.
5, children are self-centered, can only listen to praise, can not hear a little criticism.
Experts say that children are often easily praised, and parents and kindergarten teachers do it every day. You're great! You're so smart! Such things make children suffer from praise dependence and can't listen to any negative opinions. Such children lack the experience and motivation to resist setbacks, and are often emotional and insecure.
6. Parents are afraid of losing, and children strive for the first place everywhere.
Experts say that parents often set unrealistic goals for their children. Always compare your children with other children. When children do not do as well as others or have problems, parents will be very anxious, and there will be complaints and emotional behaviors. Children's feelings and abilities are often ignored.
As parents, we should realize that it is unrealistic to let our children always compete for the first place, but the only thing that can compete is me, I am different! Because differences are resources and advantages. It's great, too, but you're great. You're the best, but the goal is essentially different. It is necessary to understand and analyze children's characteristics, give correct evaluation and practical goals, and let children's abilities develop in a mountain shape.