A child's "mediocrity" is taunted by his parents and jumps off.

How do we raise our children to be positive and optimistic?

At 5am this morning, my kids and I were woken up by a "cry", followed by a "pfft", like the sound of something "falling" on the ground.

I quickly got up, opened the curtains, looked out the window, and found a few people walking their dogs, and they all kept stopping and looking back, walking and stopping, and talking to each other, looking towards one place.

A sense of foreboding came over me, that this was not an ordinary fight.

The cries and shouts have been hovering over the neighborhood just before dawn, as if shouting "security, come quickly". The sound is heartbreaking, I can hear the voice of the age of more than 50 years old. At first I thought it was a young couple who had a fight, and in the heat of the moment, they threw furniture out the window. Appliances? Now the very bad feeling appeared, is that "heavy" sound is?

At this point, the baby was crying in bed, and I closed the curtains and went to make the baby's formula, dress him, and clean up the house. I couldn't help but look out the window again, and my heart instantly went into my throat, and sure enough, it was a man, leaping down from a tall building, in one bound!

I saw such a picture for the first time in my life, very scared, very fearful, brain also have a hundred thousand why? Why don't you cherish this life? What can't you think of? Is it a man or a woman? What is the contradiction?

Then, as usual, 7 o'clock with the child downstairs to walk, only to find that the usual sparse neighborhood this time lively, are piled up to chat, I can guess, must be because of the morning thing, they are talking about it!

I stood next to listen to, a and this aunt know the mother-in-law said, she guessed that it may be because "this child and played a night game, his mother said that he was" so an impulse to ...... too bad, 30 years old is to carry the responsibility of the time!

The mother-in-law is also the mother of the child!

The mother-in-law also said that before the square dance together, know his family cooking aunt. This aunt said, the young man did not have a serious job, 30 years old and no girlfriend, like to play games, his parents are state-owned enterprises management.

The couple's temperament is strong, always nagging the young man, saying that he is "nothing, how to give birth to your son, you intend to let us support you for the rest of your life, just know to play the game, black and white, food and clothing are all I earned, you have no right to give me stubborn, and so on". ......

So the mother-in-law said it may be "his parents get up to cook dinner ready to go to work, found that he played the game again all night, angry, scolded the child, so the guy on ...... "

Because the child is not wearing clothes, is naked? I said what? Granny said, a naked ah! Definitely the old couple again said the child all over the body to eat, use, wear are they earned, so the child back to them! I was so upset!

What kind of parent can force a child to be like this? The child was "wasted" by you and your wife, so who are you to preach?

The child in the early childhood certainly brought you a lot of happiness and joy, is your own ability to education, or on the child's expectations are too high, so the child into your mind "half-crippled" state. And you're going to dislike him, insult him, criticize him, you don't deserve to be a parent at all!

Unconditional love should not depend on the child's looks, intelligence, behavior, or achievements, but should be unquestionable and consistent. Parents should never give love as a reward to their children, nor should they choose to punish their children with emotion by not loving them when they do something wrong or misbehave and need parental correction and guidance!

Parents need to know that love for their children should be separate from the emotions of "anger, frustration, worry, resentment, and indignation," which must be fleeting in front of the child! Just because you are a parent, you have to do this. You brought him into this world and you are responsible for him for the rest of his life!

Because children give their parents unconditional love and absolute trust in their early childhood:

In the early years of a child's life, the parents are the center of the universe, and even if the parents are tired of scolding the child's unreasonable demands, he will still "reach out" for a hug. "beg for a hug, because he eyes only mom and dad! He loves his mom and dad!

The child is hungry, sleepy, urinating, and will be the first to ask for help from mom and dad, the child knows that mom and dad will help him back to a comfortable state. When a child recognizes someone, no one is allowed to hold, because the child only trusts mom and dad!

In the process of raising a child, we will get unprecedented joy and happiness, but also find a lot of unexpected surprises and skills, these are because of the child, in the process of interacting with the child to produce the joy. Children give us a better understanding of caring, pride, gratitude, excitement, and giving! Let us know what is the real emotion !

As parents, we need to devote our lives to our children. If you can't accept that your child is mediocre, accomplishes nothing, gnaws on the old man, and is a troubled teenager, then please don't have a child!

Because the child that the date of birth, his fate is closely related to the parents and the family, the child wants to become what kind of person? It's not up to him! Because the child has no self-control, self-judgment when he learned to imitate, observation, coupled with the parents and the family environment of his indoctrination, guidance, in fact, has given his future to draw a good "frame". The first thing you need to do is to get out of the box, and live a different life!

The poor guidance of children and adolescents is the problem of the parents themselves, and it is not the fault of anyone, not to mention insulting the child, sarcastic, denigrating the child's personality, and counting his uselessness!

Because you are the closest person to the child, the child's biological parents, should not and can not look down on their own children. As a child even his own parents are extraordinarily despise, dislike, ridicule, the child has what motivation to live on, his future is confused, he is willing to degrade themselves, mixed food and drink, he became more and more thoughtless, more and more helpless, so because of a sentence, a look, so that he is even more "denial of their own" and thus want to leave this world! The first time I've seen this, I've seen it in my own life!

As parents of children, how should we guide our children to be positive and optimistic?

① Give your child "total and unconditional love", love and recognize your child, be patient with him/her and be consistent, and don't raise him/her with a "purpose"!

Even if the child has grown up, married, and has children, the parents simply ask the child to return the favor, but also continue to give the child your heart and tolerance!

② In the early years of the child to build the child "self-identity", so that children believe in themselves. In life, give the child recognition, encouragement, praise, let the child believe that you love him, trust him, support him.

Parents should not be stingy with their children's praise in their daily lives, and should not always worry about their children's "pride" when they are intentionally stingy with their praise. Parents need to know that your approval and support is more important than anything else!

Self-identity is something that takes a lot of patience and teaching, and a few years to build up over a period of years, so it should be a must for parents in the early years of a child's life!

③ Instill the right "values and beliefs", whether or not the parents want the child to learn their own values and beliefs, the child has already absorbed some of them.

Parents need to set a good example in their children's early years by slowly and patiently communicating their values and beliefs to their children as their age and language allow, trying to guide their children to their own point of view, and listening carefully to their children's explanations before giving them guidance!

④ Give the child to create a "healthy and happy" childhood, the first thing parents should understand is that every child has their own temperament, remember to compare with other children's children, some children are quiet, some children are disturbed, some children are playful, some children are naughty, some children like to know ......

We don't want to add weight to "childhood", but let the child enjoy life, enjoy every day, so that he will take the initiative to embrace tomorrow. The child is happy when he shares his preferences, feelings, and discoveries with those around him, and he is enthusiastic and cheerful!

In the child's teenage years, parents should take the initiative to change communication with their children, to avoid the child to develop the bad habits of smoking and drinking, the father should set an example, and the child *** with the growth of the child, *** with progress!

⑤ Create a safe and good living environment for your child, as we all know, a harmonious and happy family environment to raise children are generally positive, optimistic and cheerful. "The home is not only a safe place to live, but also a "safe haven" for the child's emotions. "The home must be the first place a child thinks of when he or she encounters difficulties and frustrations, and it must be full of love and harmony!

Unharmonious family relationships can seriously affect the physical and mental health of the child, because the child can feel the conflict between the family members, which will make the child feel uneasy, so if there is any unpleasantness and conflict between parents, even if it is a small thing, it should be handled appropriately, and the whole family should cooperate to find a way to avoid the child to stay in the heart of the knot.

Never put the problem, let it go, let the child look in the eyes, confused past, parents should do everything, not to escape. Let the child take the initiative to understand what is positive!

⑥ improve the child's "interest in learning", the child's learning and education is upgraded to the parents after the first "headache" of the big thing. If the child just do not love to learn, no interest in learning? Parents really difficult? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots.

Preschool (3-5 years old) is the budding stage of children's learning, if this stage of the child once the "boredom". The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots!

At this stage, the child if you like to play, parents do not blame, and to play with the child, parents have to use their brains, how to play with the child, so that the child learns to deserve a little knowledge.

Give your child encouragement and praise from time to time. Only when your child feels confident will he or she be able to release his or her desire to learn and explore, so that he or she can be effectively guided to learn!

Parents should be with their children, interacting with them, reading picture books, listening to stories, and playing games with them to impart knowledge!

Parents should listen to their children and let them "discover" that learning is fun and satisfying, so that they can learn on their own!

If the parents have done all of the above from the time of the child's birth, and is to lead by example, perseverance, patience and teaching. Even if the child has no academic success and an ordinary job, he or she will be a positive, happy, "mediocre" person!

Parents "create" the "mediocre" parents must accept, not other emotions. Because no matter what he looks like, he is still your child, the one who brought you a lot of joy from childhood!