Of course, it doesn't make much sense to discuss extreme situations, so I'll talk about the more common phenomenon of "sister-brother love"-girls are older than boys, the age difference is over 5 years, and boys are under 28 years old.
In many such relationships, girls will have the same anxiety-I want to marry him, but is it reliable?
In the past six months, I heard a typical story of brother-sister love, which is probably:
A girl in her early 30 s, with a good family, good ability and income, fell in love with a nightclub brother in her early 20 s. Girls want to get married, but boys refuse for various reasons.
This kind of similar love, generally speaking, is that girls spend money for boys, even a lot. He wants to help boys, and he also uses his relationship to help boys attract wine business.
Asked why girls like boys much younger than themselves, the girls' answers are basically the same: I like him being kind to me.
This kind of love is unreliable, and onlookers can see it at a glance, so I won't say much.
I have also heard another typical story, which may be: a female white-collar worker in her thirties with an annual salary of more than 200,000, just like a male colleague who is five or six years younger than herself. She thought she was old and wanted to get married, but the boy kept dragging her feet and said her parents didn't agree.
If the purpose is to get married, is it reliable to get married?
Onlookers will also have a firm answer.
Whether this type is reliable or not, I can't kill it with a stick. Let's talk about the unreliable part and the reasons for it.
The first is age.
This is the most obvious problem among all brothers and sisters. Many boys will say "parents disagree". Actually, he doesn't agree with it himself. He wants to marry you, but he can't stop him, what's more, his parents and even their ancestors have been together for eighteen generations.
Since ancient times, marriage matching behavior has basically followed the formula of "strong men and weak women". Men usually want to find someone who is younger than themselves, whose income is not as good as their own, and whose education is not as good as their own. In fact, these all have a very simple purpose-to ensure their male dignity.
Therefore, it is difficult for more than 90% of men to accept that girls are older and stronger than themselves.
In addition to the traditional psychology that men are strong and women are weak, fertility is also a real concern of boys and their families.
Age is inevitable, which is a great resistance.
However, the problem of age is only an obvious one. If we can break through this hurdle, it's actually nothing.
However, the premise of our discussion is that a boy does not like a girl. This boy is really great, but the problem is-most boys whose brothers and sisters love each other are not good. This is an important reason for being truly unreliable.
Second, the boy's mind is still immature.
Marriage doesn't mean "the two of us tell the world to be together", but "we will live together for many years in the future." .
A big sister wants to live with a little brother for many years. Is this reliable? Who knows who has experienced sadness and injustice.
Generally speaking, men and women of the same age are basically mature and sensible girls. Girls grow up by observing their own language and color, so their minds will be more delicate and sensitive. Almost all boys have been brought up as male chauvinists, and they tend to be self-centered and feel that they are right. When they find a big sister, they like the comfort of being cared for, considerate and guided. You should make him understand and sympathize with you. You think too much.
Third, young boys generally lack a sense of responsibility, material basis and material basis "qualitative"
A boy in his early twenties, who can't say nice things, is basically a child, not to mention his twenties, that is, many men, and when they grow to their thirties, they are all fathers. As a child, he doesn't know what responsibility is. He only knows that one person is full and the whole family is not hungry.
Advantages and disadvantages of a 5-year-old boy in marriage. In addition, boys of this age lack material foundation. Lack of material foundation will make people lack self-confidence and have difficulty in keeping their word. Even if women have no material requirements, the ultimate dream of boys is not to get married, but to realize their own value. Even if married, the boy will soon feel heartless. The outside world is what he wants to pursue. So most women will be ignored in the future.
There is also a kind of "qualitative" as Cecilia Han said, "I like boys who have seen the world, but I don't like boys who are still moved by the world." -That's right. Many men, he is over 20 years old, he doesn't know what he wants, and he doesn't know what the girl he really likes. He may think you are very good this year, very good, as good as a fairy, and he may tell you "we are not suitable" next year.
Finally, from the perspective of game theory, marriage is a game, and only when both sides are evenly matched can a good relationship be maintained.
In the world of marriage, "young people" are constantly increasing in value, at least as a potential stock, but older women are constantly depreciating. When you were 40, he was only in his thirties. At that time, he was a young man, famous and beneficial, but difficult to fill in, and you gradually lost your sexual attraction. How can you control him?
I don't want to be across the board, but the fact is that most brother-sister relationships with large age differences are basically unreliable.
After talking for a year and a half, I don't think there is any problem. After a long time, especially when you are married or really married, all kinds of dense problems appear.
But then again, not all brother-sister relationships are unreliable, and some of them are quite good and harmonious.
In those harmonious brother-sister relationships, most boys grow mature and steady with age, and also have a certain material foundation. They are more responsible, know what they want and sympathize with women's difficulties.
But such a boy is really rare, and there is another paradox-if a man is really that good, how can he get you? If you deserve such a good boy, why is it his turn?
Advantages and disadvantages of having a 5-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl in marriage. In any case, if you fall in love with a man, you will feel more wronged. If you feel insecure in this relationship, you'd better leave as soon as possible and find another way out-don't be abandoned to the end, it's really painful.